why farewell is so painfull ??

well this time the lights are up. the dark is outside.. try to collect myself and trying  to stop thinking about you... 
Tomorrow? i know it's your birthday but i don't have such great chance to wish you A very happy birthday day . i cant see in your eyes cant hold your hand and completely blank about that magnificent smile which i once used to live with.

i m gathering that memories , holding my breath . try to stop thinking about you but this lame mind is still outta my control. this bloody heart wont allowing me to say A goodbye. but i cant control time  as i've tried to control it but i just went like a quick bate and keep watching it..

so today i just wanna close my eyes again and recall the best of yours and (please god give me strength ) saying you a good bye.. and yeah Happy Birthday too..

its very difficult to say you goodbye too.. :(